Fucking Paula Deen. Charming, southern, disarming health-destroying bitch. This woman spent the last however many years getting fat (literally) and rich (obviously) off of us. Off our health. Off of manipulating us into thinking that we didnt have to sacrifice flavor and taste, that eating and cooking were not drudgery, they were occasions to celebrate life, and fun, and excitement and most of all, butter.

Now I've always found Paula's schtick to be completely self-serving and annoying: she was simply yet another of the assholes that Food Network has gotten behind, turning a small brand into a media galaxy complete with her own gravitational pull of books, speaking tours, panels, Food and Wine fest invitations, viral videos (the one where her pants fell down was hysterical). Shit even her asshole sons got a show out of her. Nice mom if you can find one.

But of course now we find out that Paula has been hiding a teeny tiny little secret from us all. Her horrible eating habits and southern routines, her celebration of what we know to be bad for us, has actually sickened her. She has Type 2 Diabetes. You know, the kind you give yourself. 

And she's continued milking her celebrity status to the tune of $10 million/ year for the past 3 years, hiding her sickness from the very people she was making the money off of. Would we have continued to watch her? Would we have continued to cheer on every dollop of cream, every stick of butter knowing that we were witnessing a form of suicide? Absolutely not. We would have had her committed. 

Do any of her viewers feel betrayed? Or have they already shifted into apologia mode for this sweet and soft woman who reminded them of their old bitty grandmas. 

Paula Deen, another perfect example of our national "Extraction Ethos." Take as much as possible for yourself: money, treasure, knowledge, energy, oil, fucking cup holders, space, whatever the fuck!

This is our country. These are the people we idolize, we celebrate, we enable with our dollars and our attention. We are never going to learn. Ever.

#OccupyPaula'sAss